Sunday, July 05, 2009

Open Letter

Dear Teenagers of Kingsbridge,

First of all, we want to give you credit for having gotten hold of all those fireworks. Really, we think it's SO cool you were able to talk your Uncle Sonny into picking up that big bag of them when he was down in West Virginia last month, and we commend you for not having blown off any of your fingers. Seriously.

But can we give you some advice? They don't go bad. You can save whatever you have left over for next year, and they'll still be fine -- you don't HAVE to set them all off tonight. What if you can't get any next year? What if Uncle Sonny gets caught violating his parole and can't make it down to see that guy he knows? You'll be really, really glad to have a few laid away for the Fourth of July, 2010. Just hide them in the back of your sock drawer -- when your mom find them she'll be so happy they're not weed she'll forget she ever saw anything. Really. I'm a mom. I know.

To tide you over until then, check out the Museum of Firecracker Label Art. They're quite beautiful, and they won't scare the dog.

(via Coudal Partners' Museum of Online Museums)

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4 Comments:

Blogger Katharine Weber said...

Fireworks are horribly legal in Connecticut. M80s, Black Cats, Snakes, Pinwheels, Catherine Wheels, Roman Candles, strings of firecrackers, all in dump bins at the Stop & Shop next to the watermelons.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Debi said...

Horribly legal here, too. They weren't when I was growing up and one was forced to drive all the way to South Carolina (ummm...that's 15 minutes from here) to buy them and then smuggle them across the border. Now, you can get them around the corner at Wal-Mart.

Lisa, I'd like you to send an Open Letter to the teenagers (and men who think they are teenagers even though they're not) of Savannah, too, please.

8:03 PM  
Blogger Margarita said...

In our neck of upstate NY, Oneida County, the whole place went up in smoke starting noon. Whoever didn't get hold of the firecrackers, fired off their shotgun to celebrate Liberty! I didn't hear any ambulance sirens, I guess the self-reliant folk of Annsville know their fire safety, I hope (although things I sometimes read in the local paper make me wonder).

11:50 PM  
Blogger schmemily said...

I think you have to go to Missouri for the serious stuff, but plenty of loud, smoky firecrackers are legal in Kansas. We went to a party Saturday in a fairly wealthy part of town and the noise wasn't so bad ... then we returned to our neighborhood, which sounded like a war zone. The puppy was not amused.

5:35 AM  

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